This is a translation of a scriptural meditation from the Russian book, “Day by Day”. Lewis connection follows:
Scripture: “Deny yourself” (Matt: 16, 24)
Meditation:
"How often the soul, desiring to achieve this complete renunciation, asks itself: how to satisfy the thirst, how to overcome all the difficulties and obstacles? The biggest stumbling block is within ourselves, in our selfishness. Denying oneself is the first condition for humble spiritual victory which can free us from all shackles and bring with it complete peace in our lives.
"What does this self-denial consist of? We often don’t understand the full meaning of this word. Neither self-control, nor reasonable prudence, nor even the subordination of the lower properties of our soul to higher goals is complete self-denial. In the spirit of Christianity, self-denial must be understood in the full sense of the word. To deny oneself means not to know oneself, to renounce oneself, to actually not exist in one’s own eyes. For this one must get out of oneself and, having completely surrendered to the Lord and constantly being filled with His spirit, to forget ourselves completely and to let our lives be absorbed by the lives of others.
“In previous years, perhaps even yesterday, we considered many things to be relevant for ourselves, we were not indifferent to human praise and criticism, we permitted ourselves a certain amount of delight in satisfying our personal needs. Now, however, having given ourselves to the Lord, we have firmly resolved to relate everything, without exception, to Jesus Christ, our Lord. To live and to act only for His glory, constantly witnessing about Him with our lives – only then will we also be able to say with St. Paul: “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal: 2, 20).”
I think that perhaps the following sentence from the above meditation is too extreme:
“To deny oneself means not to know oneself, to renounce oneself, to actually not exist in one’s own eyes.”
I don’t think it’s either possible or even good to “not to know oneself…not to exist in one’s own eyes”. It is necessary at least to know one’s sins. But the meditation above does bring to mind for me Lewis’s thought in "Mere Christianity, Book III, chapter 8, on Pride (The Great Sin):
“The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.”
Dimitry
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)